My feelings exactly

"Every time I try on a bikini, I have to get the stupid underwire ones because I have breasts that move and dance like Bill Cosby in his Jell-O commercials. Then it just looks like I’m wearing a bra to the beach. And in all those stupid Special K diet commercials about bikini season, and I’m like ‘sure I could lose five pounds and look different in this bikini, but maybe I could just drink this beer and eat these fries and shut the fuck up.’" - The Frenemy